Deaf for a Day

This morning I wake up to a bright bedroom, it looks bright and feels warm. The only thing missing is the sound of the birds singing in the trees.

I turn on my radio, it’s early so I’m expecting to hear Chris Moyles on Radio One, but I couldn’t hear it. At first I’m confused, thinking there’s something wrong. I put my hands up to my ears and then I remember.

I get dressed and go downstairs, my mum greets me, I couldn’t hear her, but it’s like a morning ritual for her. She comes over and stands in front of me:

“Em…I said good morning”

“Oh, sorry I didn’t hear you…Good Morning” I reply

“Ok, but you can stop shouting now” Mum said

“I’m not” I was talking and I could hear myself…oh…I guess I was shouting then.

The morning went on in a similar vein, me and mum on the verge of arguing. But the afternoon was going to prove more difficult…I was meeting up with my friends at 1pm, and none of them knew…oh…this was going to be difficult.

Getting into town wasn’t a problem, one flash of my weekly ticket and not a word said. I meet my friends. Greet them with a smile and watch what they are saying…I answer correctly…I hope.

We go to MacDonalds, I’m queuing and am thinking to myself ‘how can people live like this’ and ‘I feel so trapped, all by myself in this little world…’ there were people all around me, but there was no noise. Nothing. There is a hard poke in my ribs and I’m brought back to a quiet reality.

Ben points to a stressed server, I walk over and order my normal burger and chips, I watched the girl say: “Are you deaf or something?” ‘You have no idea lady’ I just bow my head and lower my eyes. The food appears in front of me, I raise my head and pay the lady. She gives me my change and moves on to the next customer.

My friends and I go and sit upstairs, they’re talking nineteen to the dozen and I can’t keep up with them, so I am really quiet and only talk when I change the subject. But when I do, all I get is weird looks and my friends just carry on talking. I know they don’t mean to exclude me, but I guess they don’t know what else to do.

So I’m stuck in my own world, with only myself for company. Even my vast, limitless imagination can’t cope with that. The thought of being alone makes me sad. ‘Just take them out’ the temptation is there, to leave this lonely world and go back to hearing world…my world.

But I don’t, I carry on. My friends must be getting really stressed with me at this point, as I’m normally quite loud and bubbly. I love spending time with my friends, but I hate not being able to hear them…I just hate it.

I get home really late, as I’ve been playing on my friends game console, in my own little world. As soon as I get in, I take out the ear-plugs. Suddenly my ears are rushed with sounds: the TV, Radio, my mum shouting. I missed hearing things, but now I have a sense of what it is like to be deaf, they have my respect because they can’t hear, but then if they were born deaf, do they miss what they never had to start with?

March 2005