Val Howels

Sunday Afternoon

On an island
Alone and yet together

In a bubble
Remote and yet with others

People talking
Not to me!
People laughing
Not with me!

Was my voice too loud?

Footsteps thundering in my ears – my footsteps
Teeth crashing in my head – my teeth
Fingers scraping loudly through my skull – my fingers

The car took me by surprise

Before,
The pleasant sound of rippling water in the ford
Now,
Sharp eyes tracking patterns of the ruffled, disturbed water
Before,
The familiar crescendo of waves rhythmically and loudly tumbling
Then the scraping and pulling of the undertow
Now,
The visual pattern of those endless, frothy waves

And yet!
The vivid yellow of a mass of daffodils
The warm red of a jumper
Hazy, lazy clouds in the sky
Slender, golden catkins
The couple in the cafe speaking to each other with their eyes
Ecstatic dogs chasing, tails wagging

People talking
Not to me!
People laughing
Not with me!

Don’t ignore me!
Communicate!
Sign with me!

Please!

April 2005